Universal Studios

When we arrived in Florida it was colder than it was when we left England, for the first few days the weather meant that sunbathing was out of the question. We loaded up the kitchen and I was dragged around several shopping facilities whilst Theresa ‘got her bearings’ on various shopping malls and designer outlets.

Unable to sunbathe, we took a day to re-visit Universal Studios, we had been there a few times over the years but we wanted to go and have another look at some of the theme parks to see how they have changed over the years and this was first on the list. We arrived at 1230pm and were immediately relieved of $12 to park the car. Plenty of spaces, not too many people about not too crowded and I was interested to see the Blue Man Group were performing at the park that night – I have wanted to see this act for some time, perhaps we’ll give it a go tonight.

We got to the ticket booths no queues – looking good, two adults please, $89 dollars, she said - each …. plus tax = $191 dollars – how much - you sure . . . . I remember it was a bit exxy all those years ago when we had our kids with us but mentally that hurt. I asked where the Blue Man Group were and the lady behind the bullet proof bandit screen - Alice from Wisconsin, told me it was at 8pm tonight – you wanna ticket.

Now I thought they were one of the attractions, can’t we just queue up and go in like the rides ?? – No, its in the ‘thee derr’ (Theatre), you need a ticket - $84 dollars – each – plus tax. The ‘salesman’ gene that all Americans seem to have kicked in and Alice went on to explain that when the park shuts at six you can have a nice meal at our very own Universal Studios Boardwalk and see the show at 8pm . . . what do you mean the park shuts at six – last time we were here we were here ‘till midnight - seasonal, she quipped, we open late in the summer and we shut at six today. You want tickets.

I bit my lip and muttered I wished you told me that before I gave you nearly $200 for a half day visit I would have come back tomorrow at 8 - forget the Blue Man Group - I’ll watch it on YouTube . . . Have a nice day she said as we strolled off into the park doing some mental arithmetic that told us mum, dad with just two kids in tow - with lunch and sodas will cost at least $500 a day and I don’t suppose Disney and the other parks are any cheaper. . . .am I becoming mean and grumpy in my old age.

Anyway we had five hours to do what we had done in the past in 14 hours so I told Theresa that lunch was out of the question (saving a few bucks). No real change to the layout except they had split the park in two to make Universal World of Adventure - which we paid extra to visit. Although inside the park was quite busy with loads of people about, we were quite pleasantly surprised at the lack of queues (lines over here), seasonal I thought, and at least we can get around most of the park in our five hours without killing ourselves.

Whereas in the past you could see the queues and there was a cardboard sign that tells you how long the wait is, now its gone digital and a digital display estimates the waiting time. One such sign read 40 minutes, that can’t be right there’s no-one here, so we walked into the ‘Disaster Zone’ movie set thinking we’ll get straight on do the ride and out to the next one – wrong, all the queues are now inside the buildings under cover and out of sight, the line still snakes along the insides of the building and are as long as they ever were – 40 minutes was right.

We did the Disaster Movie set, the Terminator ride, the Revenge of the Mummy ride, the Men in Black (Alien Attack) ride, the Spiderman ride, like a pair of 10 year olds – we watched the Blues Brothers gig and then came across my hero - Homer Simpson, standing for photo opportunity with Marge, Bart and Lisa, I really wanted a photo with him but decided it may not be good for Anglo/US relations if I muscled a load of kids out of the way to get to the front, besides their dads were big and had tattoos, and I was too embarrassed to join the line.

I was a bit disappointed but Theresa comforted me by buying me a Bart Simpson pencil case and took me on the Simpsons ride; another 30 minute wait in this line and whilst queuing, this 10 year old American kid advised me that he thought the ride would be way too scary for me – dunno why he picked on me, but I told him Theresa will hold my hand and I think I’ll be ok.

We got on the ride and were strapped into the capsule, it was like an out of control rollercoaster ride through Springfield (that’s where the Simpsons live) of course the capsule never moves it just bounces around but the computer generated 3D cartoon effects were amazing with the screens rolling all around you to give the ‘sensation of rapid motion and flight’ – so the book said.

We came out with a mild form of motion sickness and I thought that the kid was right, it was a bit scary and I told Theresa that I was right - aren’t you glad we never had lunch.
Don’t let anyone tell you these places are just for kids.

We declined the offer of riding The Hulk Rollercoaster, these are not really our thing and this beast ran up about 100 feet violently twisted and turned upside down threw you about and down a water slide – no thanks, the Simpsons ride made me dizzy, so we watched the terror of others from the ground and were amused to see the stuff that had been caught in the safety net – dropped by punters from above, several pairs of sunglasses, a shirt, someones jacket, and I guess about $20 dollars in small change.

6pm soon came the light was fading and we were slung out of the park, a nice touch was the row of 20 or so staff in their costumes/uniform waving to us as we left ‘Good bye, please come back and see us again soon’ - Aaahhhh !!! all so very cute . . . . . I felt like saying $200 dollars a day, f*** you no chance . . . . and we deleted Disney, Sea World and the other theme parks from our list of things to do.

Good news now is that the rare cold snap has passed and its now back to a normal high 70’s and we’re off out in the sun.

Keep watching . . . . .