Upon arrival

More on that car. . .

We picked up the car in the dark and my initial thoughts were that it don’t look much like a jeep, the paperwork from England said its a Dodge Caliber and that’s what we got but its more like a chunky estate car, she said it looked like a jeep on the website !!. Its got these quaint little handles fixed to the inside of the doors that you have to crank to open and shut the windows – some of you may remember them, and you have to use the key to open the doors and trunk (that’s the boot to you Brits), one at a time. I guess that’s my fault for leaving the booking of the car to two women.

We got half a useless map from Dollar Rent a Car and set off to find the apartment. We were tired, we were driving on the right, it was dark and my sense of direction – if I ever had one, had all but deserted me - AND we couldn’t find the switch for the car interior light - that was a fun drive.

TIP – keep hold of some of that loose change you always have left over from your holiday – forget those charity envelopes for the third world kids you get on the plane home . . . let me tell you, a fistful of crisp new dollars and the travellers cheques you got from Marks and Spencer ain’t much good when you are driving on a toll road and get to an unmanned toll booth that says ‘exact coins only’.

The toll is only pennies but if you shoot the toll (don’t pay) the Feds get you on camera and you will be impounded at the next toll booth and fined $250 - and you’re in a one-way highway system so you can’t go back. What do you do . . . I must say I felt very smug when I tossed two quarters, a nickel and dime into the net and got a green light to go through.

We eventually made it to 3000 something West Irlo Bronson Highway Kissimmee (Nr Orlando) where we thought we were staying. It turns out that it’s an unmanned automated key pickup/drop point where we picked up a welcome pack that gave us a key and another map and told us we were actually staying 10 miles away in Davenport.

By now we had found the interior light and the new map was a bit better so we cracked on – but there’s no way I’m telling the Immigration man I erroneously gave him totally duff info.

The apartment is nice and tidy, on a new complex finished late 2008 - only 65% sold – mostly to holiday investors, and there are about 20 other families on the site so no problem parking, a nice pool but its been too bloody cold to use it and the planned clubhouse is still being used as the on site Sales Office but there’s a few bar/restaurants and a Publix supermarket nearby so we can survive. .

www.BellaPiazzaFL.com

Several of our neighbours are Snowbirds, this is an affectionate name Floridians give to geriatric (but very wealthy) Americans who live in the northern states but who migrate south to Florida to escape the harsh north American winters – hence their name Snowbirds. Most are 100 years old and drive enormous American cars and/or camper vans at 25 mph in the middle lanes. The locals like the trade they bring with them but not so keen on the disruption to the traffic on the highways and in the supermarket aisles.

These genteel old folks are tourists just like us so we live alongside them ok . . . that is until we tried to book our cruise.

Our master plan was to get a deal on a Caribbean cruise while we were here but it appears that the global economic downturn has conspired to trash our cruising plans in a very perverted way.

Worldwide interest rates have plummeted, and we are told that the Snowbirds have decided that, as they are getting crap interest on their investments here, they are cashing them in and enjoying themselves, spending their kids inheritance by taking bloody cruises out of Florida !!! Cruise prices at the end of 2008 were rock bottom due to the rescission and they were giving them away – now, 3 weeks later they have all but SOLD OUT – the Snowbirds have nicked all the deals – bastards - we may have literally missed the boat.

There is an unprecedented waiting list on some cruise lines (Princess) but we are working on another one, heaven forbid - I just don’t know what we’ll do if Mrs Waterman has to doss in an inside suite with no balcony for 10 days . . . . and an added downside is that whatever ship we get (if we get) the average age of the passengers will be 100 years old so I just know the wait for the elevators and the line for the trough will be unbearable.

We’ve got to sort something out, this apartment is only booked until 3rd February and then we’ll be sleeping in the Dodge !!!

Weather report - clear blue skies sunny cold but – they even had frost on the car windshields earlier in the week and they don’t sell de-icer in Florida !!!

Coming soon – Universal Studios .