Gatwick Tuesday

We spent Monday night (19th) at a hotel at Gatwick to avoid the potential for getting stuck on the M25 and missing the plane on Tuesday morning, had a good night and a Chinese and walked to the airport the next day . . . . that's where we met the Virgin Atlantic 'baggage dump' auto check in yourself help staff who enthusiastically welcomed us . . . 'Welcome to Virgin Atlantic Gatwick, thank you for flying with us and using auto check in etc etc . . . after handing over several reams of paper in lieu of paperless tickets and auto check in - 'Oh I see Mr Waterman has already checked in on line' . . . 'Oh no he ain't' - 'Oh yes he has - look - etc etc'.
Had to happen, then they checked Theresa's booking and she has NOT checked in on line. We explained that if Mr Waterman had checked in on line, Mrs Waterman his wife of 31 years and travelling companion who lives with him in the same house and uses the same computer would have done so too at the same time don't you think - Virgin Atlantic - 'No - oh dear you'd better see a supervisor' so off we trot to the check in desk like normal people have done for years.
We met a nice Asian chappie who seemed to know what he was doing and asked us if Neville was with us - who the f### is Neville, never mind, he said, they have fouled up the booking its all wrong on the computer. He was merrily click clicking away whilst we stood there worrying about excess baggage and stuff like that and after an age he announced 'All done' we piled on the bags and got away with no excess baggage grief and he handed us our boarding passes . . . job done - and off we went for a fat boys breakfast wondering who Neville is.
2 minutes later and having nearly got to the departure lounge, the Asian chap came running up to us and asked how many bags did we just check in - 4 you just took them - damn - excess baggage - I thought I'd got away with it. 'Can I see the bag tags' he asked, Yes 4 . . . . Oh, we've got 5 down to Waterman can you come back to the desk so we can sort this out - we did.
A charming elderly Virgin check in lady advised the Asian chap that he'd just deleted Neville Waterman (whoever he is) from the system and put me in his place . . . now it appears that Neville had earlier been mis-booked in my name, now they had deleted him and cancelled his boarding pass - but still had a bag in the hold with no punter attached to it.
Neville was now nowhere on the system but he was in the airport somewhere (probably having his fat boys breakfast) unaware he had been 'deleted' and holding a now very invalid boarding pass. It appears our Asian friend was the one who had now fouled up big time so off he went to see his boss with all our papers and passports and they sent someone looking for Neville.
He eventually came back with our papers and my joke that I hope Neville don't get my First Class seat or my air miles and that I hope my bags make it to Orlando and not Kowloon, fell on very deaf ears and I could see from his face that he felt it was in exceptionally poor taste. Anyway we got on board ok - dunno about Neville last we heard of him was the tannoy asking for him to return to the Virgin Desk - he's probably now in Guantanamo Bay or his bag might be unless it was subject of a controlled explosion at Gatwick . . . you couldn't make it up could you . . .

Orlando later that day . . .

I have long said that Immigration Officers are the worlds most miserable people - and we have seen many from different countries and races over the years . . . America was true to form last night. During the 11 hour flight I neatly filled in our Green Immigration Visa Waiver forms and Customs Declarations - the address we were staying at filled in every available little box and space on the form so I had to abbreviate it a bit, I put that we were staying at 3000 something West Irlo Bronson Highway, Orlando, Florida. After we had had our photo, fingerprints, iris scans and DNA swabs taken and the passports had been examined with a UV lamp and a sniffer dog - the Officer declared that West Irlo Bronson Highway was in Kissimmee not Orlando - I said I thought it's the same big place innit - bad move . . 'No, sir West Irlo Bronson Highway is in Kissimmee, you must put the correct details on the forms' he scolded . . sorry sir - I thought it best to keep my mouth shut and plead ignorance here, don't want to upset him any more . . . but I was dying to say that it's just like you coming to London and me saying no your not staying in London - you're staying in Shepherds Bush - same thing innit . . . anyway after several extra heavy thumps of his stamp all over our passports he let us go with a grunt and 'have a nice stay' - I knew he never meant it though.

The car . . .

Off we went to collect the car - and its dark outside now, Dollar Rent a Car Desk -the car is all paid for up front so its simple - walk up - show licence - collect car - go away with it, not quite . . I was offered an upgraded car, a SATNAV and 'tow truck' insurance, you'll love this, it appears if their car breaks down and they have to tow me in - I have to pay for the two truck - or of course I can take out insurance so that will pay . . . I don't think so - anyway, I said we've got this car for six weeks, how much if I said yes to all these extras . . . about $900 -no thanks . . . . and off we went into the darkness . . . and if you thought Florida was the sunshine State - its bloody freezing here . . .

More soon . . . .