Friday, 30 January 2009
Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Cruise is booked
We finally managed to book a cruise although it was touch and go due to the Snowbirds taking over the place. We got a balcony cabin and we’re off on the Carnival Triumph out of Miami on Sunday 8th February 2009, it stops at Ocho Rios Jamaica, Grand Cayman in the Cayman Islands and Cozumel Mexico, looking forward to lunch at Pancho’s Backyard in Cozumel who make the best Margaritas in the Caribbean.
The Travel Agent here is working on some accommodation when we leave the apartment and we’re planning to head out west to Anna Marie Island for a few days then down through Sarasota and across to Naples where we have been before, and a final drive to Miami on Sunday morning.
Now that’s all booked up Theresa’s stress levels are coming down to a manageable level and its spooky, just after we booked this, she got a spam/junk email from Carnival Cruises advising if we booked a cruise with them before 31.1.09 we’d get a free upgrade. Their email came four hours after Carnival had confirmed our booking with the Travel Agents so we emailed Carnival direct saying thank you very much, we have just booked with you . . this our booking reference etc etc, look forward to our complimentary upgrade – we’ll see !!
Some very odd licensing laws
Whilst the complex we are on is new and very nice, there’s not a lot of development within walking distance, stacks of bars and restaurants within 10 minutes driving distance but drink drive etc etc ‘nuff said, I don’t want to sample the county jail.
The best restaurant within walking distance is called Applebees, like at TGI Friday set up but not as loud, loads of locals use it. They have some odd regulations here in the land of the free.
The other night we went in there and it happened to be happy hour (all evening) – we never knew that - honest, but it seems happy hour only applies to selected cocktails and wine.
Theresa ordered a Margarita – and got two, I ordered a Stella and got one . . . . so be it, we ordered a meal and the Stella and two Margaritas (neither was up to much), didn’t last long so we decided to have a bottle of vin blanc. Neither of us had our glasses with us and in the subdued light we pitched for a bottle of the one in the middle of the list of three.
The very polite high school waitress looked a bit concerned about that and hurried away, next minute the supervisor came across and said ‘I understand you want a bottle of so and so wine’, yes please, we said. He explained that they didn’t have a licence to sell wine by the bottle but we were welcome to sit here all night drinking by the glass 2 for one of the same wine we just tried to order – work that one out !!, as far as I could see all that achieved is that we never handled the bottle . . . . big deal - so we did.
Floridian Fine Dining
There is an old Native American Indian saying here that goes something like ‘When in Florida eat plenty Lobster’; several years ago we found this restaurant called Angels, its called that because when you go there you have arrived in heaven. It’s an eat as much as you can seafood restaurant, the price has gone up since we were here last but for $36 you can do just that and it includes every species of sea food you can think of - including Lobster.
They are not the biggest Lobsters I have seen, but you can genuinely sit there and eat as many as you want - all night if you want. Last time we were here, Paul and I had a competition who could eat the most Lobsters, I can’t remember who won that time but Theresa and I had a re-match last night. She managed just two, I was well into my third and took a breather, but I remembered the old Indian saying ‘When in Florida . . . by now the place had emptied out a bit and the staff were starting to clear away – I’ll have just one more.
I went up to the counter for the fourth time and joked with server ‘My wife says I can only have one more then we’ve got to go’, in a half-hearted effort to convince him I wasn’t just pigging out, ‘No problem buddy’, and he went out to the back and brought this enormous beast from the kitchen. ‘Enjoy’ he said . . . I suspect he was thinking ‘This’ll teach him !!’.
This was the sort of creature you see in horror movies and certainly wouldn’t want to have met when he was alive, if they were this size from the start I would have surrendered on three but having ordered it, its not polite to leave it we called him CLAWS. Theresa wouldn’t help me out, the waitress was hovering and I could read her mind - she was thinking just what Theresa was saying, but I did manage to finish it and the record stands at four – but I did double up on my cholesterol tablets just in case.
It’s a small world innit
Last Sunday night we went into a Brit bar fashioned out of a new build shop front a few doors away from the Indian Restaurant, we arrived at 10pm just as they were closing up, we had one drink and they were very apologetic that they were closing and explained they only shut at 10 on Sundays, come back any time we normally stay open until 2/3am.
It was about 10pm as we waddled out of Angels last night, we dumped the car at the apartment and walked back to the Brit bar. There was no way I could lay a pint on top of all that Lobster so we settled for a glass or two of white wine. The staff and the other punters soon recognise your accent and you get drawn into the conversation.
It turns out that the owner originally came from Bexleyheath, and he used to own several hamburger trailers that he had set up outside B&Q in Dartford and Charlton, we had used both. He sold up three years ago moved out here and set up the bar. His accountant was in Swanley and we spent a few hours talking over the old country and getting genned up on local places to eat and the likes.
By 12.30am I still hadn’t digested the fourth Lobster and we’d both had enough and called it a day and staggered off to bed.
Weather report – hot and sunny just as Florida should be, off to the beach today - hope its cold there . . . . .
The Travel Agent here is working on some accommodation when we leave the apartment and we’re planning to head out west to Anna Marie Island for a few days then down through Sarasota and across to Naples where we have been before, and a final drive to Miami on Sunday morning.
Now that’s all booked up Theresa’s stress levels are coming down to a manageable level and its spooky, just after we booked this, she got a spam/junk email from Carnival Cruises advising if we booked a cruise with them before 31.1.09 we’d get a free upgrade. Their email came four hours after Carnival had confirmed our booking with the Travel Agents so we emailed Carnival direct saying thank you very much, we have just booked with you . . this our booking reference etc etc, look forward to our complimentary upgrade – we’ll see !!
Some very odd licensing laws
Whilst the complex we are on is new and very nice, there’s not a lot of development within walking distance, stacks of bars and restaurants within 10 minutes driving distance but drink drive etc etc ‘nuff said, I don’t want to sample the county jail.
The best restaurant within walking distance is called Applebees, like at TGI Friday set up but not as loud, loads of locals use it. They have some odd regulations here in the land of the free.
The other night we went in there and it happened to be happy hour (all evening) – we never knew that - honest, but it seems happy hour only applies to selected cocktails and wine.
Theresa ordered a Margarita – and got two, I ordered a Stella and got one . . . . so be it, we ordered a meal and the Stella and two Margaritas (neither was up to much), didn’t last long so we decided to have a bottle of vin blanc. Neither of us had our glasses with us and in the subdued light we pitched for a bottle of the one in the middle of the list of three.
The very polite high school waitress looked a bit concerned about that and hurried away, next minute the supervisor came across and said ‘I understand you want a bottle of so and so wine’, yes please, we said. He explained that they didn’t have a licence to sell wine by the bottle but we were welcome to sit here all night drinking by the glass 2 for one of the same wine we just tried to order – work that one out !!, as far as I could see all that achieved is that we never handled the bottle . . . . big deal - so we did.
Floridian Fine Dining
There is an old Native American Indian saying here that goes something like ‘When in Florida eat plenty Lobster’; several years ago we found this restaurant called Angels, its called that because when you go there you have arrived in heaven. It’s an eat as much as you can seafood restaurant, the price has gone up since we were here last but for $36 you can do just that and it includes every species of sea food you can think of - including Lobster.
They are not the biggest Lobsters I have seen, but you can genuinely sit there and eat as many as you want - all night if you want. Last time we were here, Paul and I had a competition who could eat the most Lobsters, I can’t remember who won that time but Theresa and I had a re-match last night. She managed just two, I was well into my third and took a breather, but I remembered the old Indian saying ‘When in Florida . . . by now the place had emptied out a bit and the staff were starting to clear away – I’ll have just one more.
I went up to the counter for the fourth time and joked with server ‘My wife says I can only have one more then we’ve got to go’, in a half-hearted effort to convince him I wasn’t just pigging out, ‘No problem buddy’, and he went out to the back and brought this enormous beast from the kitchen. ‘Enjoy’ he said . . . I suspect he was thinking ‘This’ll teach him !!’.
This was the sort of creature you see in horror movies and certainly wouldn’t want to have met when he was alive, if they were this size from the start I would have surrendered on three but having ordered it, its not polite to leave it we called him CLAWS. Theresa wouldn’t help me out, the waitress was hovering and I could read her mind - she was thinking just what Theresa was saying, but I did manage to finish it and the record stands at four – but I did double up on my cholesterol tablets just in case.
It’s a small world innit
Last Sunday night we went into a Brit bar fashioned out of a new build shop front a few doors away from the Indian Restaurant, we arrived at 10pm just as they were closing up, we had one drink and they were very apologetic that they were closing and explained they only shut at 10 on Sundays, come back any time we normally stay open until 2/3am.
It was about 10pm as we waddled out of Angels last night, we dumped the car at the apartment and walked back to the Brit bar. There was no way I could lay a pint on top of all that Lobster so we settled for a glass or two of white wine. The staff and the other punters soon recognise your accent and you get drawn into the conversation.
It turns out that the owner originally came from Bexleyheath, and he used to own several hamburger trailers that he had set up outside B&Q in Dartford and Charlton, we had used both. He sold up three years ago moved out here and set up the bar. His accountant was in Swanley and we spent a few hours talking over the old country and getting genned up on local places to eat and the likes.
By 12.30am I still hadn’t digested the fourth Lobster and we’d both had enough and called it a day and staggered off to bed.
Weather report – hot and sunny just as Florida should be, off to the beach today - hope its cold there . . . . .
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
Shopping Folly
I know you are busy working people but I guess from what you have read so far you may think I have nothing better to do with my time than trawl around shops, laze about in the sun, drink wine and play on computers – those who thought that - you’re right.
Like most chaps I'm not fussed about shopping but I love the shops here, some things are very different and in an idle moment whilst in Wal-Mart I wandered off on my own and amused myself amongst the aisles. The ‘leisure’ section has loads of huntin’, shootin’ and fishin’ stuff and all manner of kit for outdoor activities – you can even buy a shotgun and some real cruel looking crossbow bolts/arrows ‘ideal for silently stalking/hunting/killing deer’ – if that’s what floats your boat - and this place is our equivalent of our Asda !!.
The contest on who can make the biggest barbecue is closely run between the Aussies and the Americans, and the Americans have plenty here, but I was particularly drawn to a smaller barbecue that Wal-Mart advertised as a ‘Tailgate Barbecue’. This is similar to those disposable aluminium foil ones we have at home but these had three 4” legs made from a light alloy, the idea is that you open the tailgate of your vehicle (pronounced veee – hickle) and place the barbecue on the tailgate while you cook the animal you just killed.
This barbecue is made in China but judging by the instructions on the box it is imported solely for the American market. The US Federal Government approved ‘elf an Safety’ warning reads ‘WARNING barbecue coals may get hot when lit’ . . . . no shit Sherlock - I thought to myself, the tailgate on a car is at the back, and so is the gas tank, I had this vision of Billy-Bob Redneck in Hicksville roasting a haunch of venison on his Chinese made Wal-Mart Tailgate BBQ - and setting fire to his truck.
Nevertheless I thought this was a good bit of kit in sensible hands but I had serious doubts that the insurance from Dollar Rent a Car would allow me to put one in the back of the Dodge so I passed on that, besides we were not planning to go hunting Moose and we had a new microwave in the apartment anyway.
I strayed across to the Pharmacy aisle and an elderly couple quickly put a box back on the shelf that they had been looking at and shuffled away. Force of habit (being professionally nosey in my past life), meant I was interested in what they were looking at - and I couldn’t believe it . . . . . it was a Wal-Mart DIY Enema kit, on special, buy two for $4 and save 29 cents.
I thought this was an interesting bit of kit but wondered why anyone would want to buy two, its made of plastic so why can’t you give it a spin in the dishwasher and reuse it . . . anyway if your colon was such a state as to need two shots, would you be bothered about saving 29 cents. I showed Theresa and she said I was sick and she wouldn’t let me buy one (or two).
God Bless America.
I wandered off again but was soon beckoned to the check-out to bag up the shopping, amongst the load was a box of eggs, nothing unusual there, but it appears these were 18 very special eggs. This is true, and I have photographic evidence to support this, the egg box says that these eggs are from ‘VEGETARIAN FED HENS’.
Now I scratched my arse and thought about that and, although I have no experience in the field of battery farming and chickens and the like, I don’t remember ever having heard of chickens being fed on anything other than corn and seeds, not in England anyway, and I thought that corn and seeds were vegetarian ??.
My over active imagination took me to a chicken farm somewhere in America where carnivorous hens are fed on pork chops, or of course, depending how you read the label, maybe it’s the people who actually fed the chickens who were the vegetarians, but if that’s the case . . . so what - I’ll have to talk this over with a vegetarian and the Egg Lady in Swanley Market when I get home - and let you know. If anyone can help me out here please do - I’m starting to think I need to do something more productive with my time.
The Sun’s out . . .
Having finally got into the sun, we met a young Scottish couple round the pool the other day, nice people, super fit marathon runners, they told us a serious tale of their 6 month old son who last week developed a mild chest infection.
Mum was obviously concerned and so took him to the doctor, the doctor said he didn’t see patients under 16 tears old and referred them to a specialist paediatrician, you could argue that was sensible in the circumstances; but then the paediatrician said he didn’t see children under 4 years old (??), so they were packed off to the Hospital. After being bounced around ER for a few hours they were given some steroid medication for the lad - and presented with a bill for $1600 – ouch . . . .
If ever there was a serious advert for medical insurance in America this was it and thankfully they were covered by their holiday insurance, but on a lighter note, I cast my mind back to that elderly couple in Wal-Mart and I now appreciate why some people resort to DIY jobs !! . . .
Last one today . . . . we had a curry the other night, US style – the restaurant was in a new shop front with flashing neon signs, the pastel pink interior desperately needed that flock wallpaper that they all have at home, it had the ambiance of a mortuary with its plastic tablecloths, cast iron furniture and heavy chunky wine glasses. My Lamb Rogan Josh was cubed lamb covered with a dark brown spicy gravy - I’m not complaining it didn’t taste that bad and I was gagging for a ruby anyway, but wasn’t the same as at home especially, when the waiter was a white American High School student.
Theresa didn’t finish all of her meal and we were offered a doggy bag (we never asked for one so I suspect they have mates in the Shaad in Swanley who told them we were coming); at home, as some of you may know, they take the plates away, pack your leftovers nicely in a box with a piece of fresh lemon and discretely present it to you at your table in a plain brown paper carrier bag. Not here, they brought us the check (bill) and at the same time left a polystyrene box (like you get a Big Mac in) and a plastic bag on the table – as if to say ‘sort it yourself’ . . . . and don’t you dare forget my 15% tip on your $60 dollar bill.
I love this place. . . . . must go I think the neighbours are about to turn their WiFi off again - stay tuned – hope the house is still intact and me cars still on the drive . .
God bless America . . .
Like most chaps I'm not fussed about shopping but I love the shops here, some things are very different and in an idle moment whilst in Wal-Mart I wandered off on my own and amused myself amongst the aisles. The ‘leisure’ section has loads of huntin’, shootin’ and fishin’ stuff and all manner of kit for outdoor activities – you can even buy a shotgun and some real cruel looking crossbow bolts/arrows ‘ideal for silently stalking/hunting/killing deer’ – if that’s what floats your boat - and this place is our equivalent of our Asda !!.
The contest on who can make the biggest barbecue is closely run between the Aussies and the Americans, and the Americans have plenty here, but I was particularly drawn to a smaller barbecue that Wal-Mart advertised as a ‘Tailgate Barbecue’. This is similar to those disposable aluminium foil ones we have at home but these had three 4” legs made from a light alloy, the idea is that you open the tailgate of your vehicle (pronounced veee – hickle) and place the barbecue on the tailgate while you cook the animal you just killed.
This barbecue is made in China but judging by the instructions on the box it is imported solely for the American market. The US Federal Government approved ‘elf an Safety’ warning reads ‘WARNING barbecue coals may get hot when lit’ . . . . no shit Sherlock - I thought to myself, the tailgate on a car is at the back, and so is the gas tank, I had this vision of Billy-Bob Redneck in Hicksville roasting a haunch of venison on his Chinese made Wal-Mart Tailgate BBQ - and setting fire to his truck.
Nevertheless I thought this was a good bit of kit in sensible hands but I had serious doubts that the insurance from Dollar Rent a Car would allow me to put one in the back of the Dodge so I passed on that, besides we were not planning to go hunting Moose and we had a new microwave in the apartment anyway.
I strayed across to the Pharmacy aisle and an elderly couple quickly put a box back on the shelf that they had been looking at and shuffled away. Force of habit (being professionally nosey in my past life), meant I was interested in what they were looking at - and I couldn’t believe it . . . . . it was a Wal-Mart DIY Enema kit, on special, buy two for $4 and save 29 cents.
I thought this was an interesting bit of kit but wondered why anyone would want to buy two, its made of plastic so why can’t you give it a spin in the dishwasher and reuse it . . . anyway if your colon was such a state as to need two shots, would you be bothered about saving 29 cents. I showed Theresa and she said I was sick and she wouldn’t let me buy one (or two).
God Bless America.
I wandered off again but was soon beckoned to the check-out to bag up the shopping, amongst the load was a box of eggs, nothing unusual there, but it appears these were 18 very special eggs. This is true, and I have photographic evidence to support this, the egg box says that these eggs are from ‘VEGETARIAN FED HENS’.
Now I scratched my arse and thought about that and, although I have no experience in the field of battery farming and chickens and the like, I don’t remember ever having heard of chickens being fed on anything other than corn and seeds, not in England anyway, and I thought that corn and seeds were vegetarian ??.
My over active imagination took me to a chicken farm somewhere in America where carnivorous hens are fed on pork chops, or of course, depending how you read the label, maybe it’s the people who actually fed the chickens who were the vegetarians, but if that’s the case . . . so what - I’ll have to talk this over with a vegetarian and the Egg Lady in Swanley Market when I get home - and let you know. If anyone can help me out here please do - I’m starting to think I need to do something more productive with my time.
The Sun’s out . . .
Having finally got into the sun, we met a young Scottish couple round the pool the other day, nice people, super fit marathon runners, they told us a serious tale of their 6 month old son who last week developed a mild chest infection.
Mum was obviously concerned and so took him to the doctor, the doctor said he didn’t see patients under 16 tears old and referred them to a specialist paediatrician, you could argue that was sensible in the circumstances; but then the paediatrician said he didn’t see children under 4 years old (??), so they were packed off to the Hospital. After being bounced around ER for a few hours they were given some steroid medication for the lad - and presented with a bill for $1600 – ouch . . . .
If ever there was a serious advert for medical insurance in America this was it and thankfully they were covered by their holiday insurance, but on a lighter note, I cast my mind back to that elderly couple in Wal-Mart and I now appreciate why some people resort to DIY jobs !! . . .
Last one today . . . . we had a curry the other night, US style – the restaurant was in a new shop front with flashing neon signs, the pastel pink interior desperately needed that flock wallpaper that they all have at home, it had the ambiance of a mortuary with its plastic tablecloths, cast iron furniture and heavy chunky wine glasses. My Lamb Rogan Josh was cubed lamb covered with a dark brown spicy gravy - I’m not complaining it didn’t taste that bad and I was gagging for a ruby anyway, but wasn’t the same as at home especially, when the waiter was a white American High School student.
Theresa didn’t finish all of her meal and we were offered a doggy bag (we never asked for one so I suspect they have mates in the Shaad in Swanley who told them we were coming); at home, as some of you may know, they take the plates away, pack your leftovers nicely in a box with a piece of fresh lemon and discretely present it to you at your table in a plain brown paper carrier bag. Not here, they brought us the check (bill) and at the same time left a polystyrene box (like you get a Big Mac in) and a plastic bag on the table – as if to say ‘sort it yourself’ . . . . and don’t you dare forget my 15% tip on your $60 dollar bill.
I love this place. . . . . must go I think the neighbours are about to turn their WiFi off again - stay tuned – hope the house is still intact and me cars still on the drive . .
God bless America . . .
Monday, 26 January 2009
Universal Studios
When we arrived in Florida it was colder than it was when we left England, for the first few days the weather meant that sunbathing was out of the question. We loaded up the kitchen and I was dragged around several shopping facilities whilst Theresa ‘got her bearings’ on various shopping malls and designer outlets.
Unable to sunbathe, we took a day to re-visit Universal Studios, we had been there a few times over the years but we wanted to go and have another look at some of the theme parks to see how they have changed over the years and this was first on the list. We arrived at 1230pm and were immediately relieved of $12 to park the car. Plenty of spaces, not too many people about not too crowded and I was interested to see the Blue Man Group were performing at the park that night – I have wanted to see this act for some time, perhaps we’ll give it a go tonight.
We got to the ticket booths no queues – looking good, two adults please, $89 dollars, she said - each …. plus tax = $191 dollars – how much - you sure . . . . I remember it was a bit exxy all those years ago when we had our kids with us but mentally that hurt. I asked where the Blue Man Group were and the lady behind the bullet proof bandit screen - Alice from Wisconsin, told me it was at 8pm tonight – you wanna ticket.
Now I thought they were one of the attractions, can’t we just queue up and go in like the rides ?? – No, its in the ‘thee derr’ (Theatre), you need a ticket - $84 dollars – each – plus tax. The ‘salesman’ gene that all Americans seem to have kicked in and Alice went on to explain that when the park shuts at six you can have a nice meal at our very own Universal Studios Boardwalk and see the show at 8pm . . . what do you mean the park shuts at six – last time we were here we were here ‘till midnight - seasonal, she quipped, we open late in the summer and we shut at six today. You want tickets.
I bit my lip and muttered I wished you told me that before I gave you nearly $200 for a half day visit I would have come back tomorrow at 8 - forget the Blue Man Group - I’ll watch it on YouTube . . . Have a nice day she said as we strolled off into the park doing some mental arithmetic that told us mum, dad with just two kids in tow - with lunch and sodas will cost at least $500 a day and I don’t suppose Disney and the other parks are any cheaper. . . .am I becoming mean and grumpy in my old age.
Anyway we had five hours to do what we had done in the past in 14 hours so I told Theresa that lunch was out of the question (saving a few bucks). No real change to the layout except they had split the park in two to make Universal World of Adventure - which we paid extra to visit. Although inside the park was quite busy with loads of people about, we were quite pleasantly surprised at the lack of queues (lines over here), seasonal I thought, and at least we can get around most of the park in our five hours without killing ourselves.
Whereas in the past you could see the queues and there was a cardboard sign that tells you how long the wait is, now its gone digital and a digital display estimates the waiting time. One such sign read 40 minutes, that can’t be right there’s no-one here, so we walked into the ‘Disaster Zone’ movie set thinking we’ll get straight on do the ride and out to the next one – wrong, all the queues are now inside the buildings under cover and out of sight, the line still snakes along the insides of the building and are as long as they ever were – 40 minutes was right.
We did the Disaster Movie set, the Terminator ride, the Revenge of the Mummy ride, the Men in Black (Alien Attack) ride, the Spiderman ride, like a pair of 10 year olds – we watched the Blues Brothers gig and then came across my hero - Homer Simpson, standing for photo opportunity with Marge, Bart and Lisa, I really wanted a photo with him but decided it may not be good for Anglo/US relations if I muscled a load of kids out of the way to get to the front, besides their dads were big and had tattoos, and I was too embarrassed to join the line.
I was a bit disappointed but Theresa comforted me by buying me a Bart Simpson pencil case and took me on the Simpsons ride; another 30 minute wait in this line and whilst queuing, this 10 year old American kid advised me that he thought the ride would be way too scary for me – dunno why he picked on me, but I told him Theresa will hold my hand and I think I’ll be ok.
We got on the ride and were strapped into the capsule, it was like an out of control rollercoaster ride through Springfield (that’s where the Simpsons live) of course the capsule never moves it just bounces around but the computer generated 3D cartoon effects were amazing with the screens rolling all around you to give the ‘sensation of rapid motion and flight’ – so the book said.
We came out with a mild form of motion sickness and I thought that the kid was right, it was a bit scary and I told Theresa that I was right - aren’t you glad we never had lunch.
Don’t let anyone tell you these places are just for kids.
We declined the offer of riding The Hulk Rollercoaster, these are not really our thing and this beast ran up about 100 feet violently twisted and turned upside down threw you about and down a water slide – no thanks, the Simpsons ride made me dizzy, so we watched the terror of others from the ground and were amused to see the stuff that had been caught in the safety net – dropped by punters from above, several pairs of sunglasses, a shirt, someones jacket, and I guess about $20 dollars in small change.
6pm soon came the light was fading and we were slung out of the park, a nice touch was the row of 20 or so staff in their costumes/uniform waving to us as we left ‘Good bye, please come back and see us again soon’ - Aaahhhh !!! all so very cute . . . . . I felt like saying $200 dollars a day, f*** you no chance . . . . and we deleted Disney, Sea World and the other theme parks from our list of things to do.
Good news now is that the rare cold snap has passed and its now back to a normal high 70’s and we’re off out in the sun.
Keep watching . . . . .
Unable to sunbathe, we took a day to re-visit Universal Studios, we had been there a few times over the years but we wanted to go and have another look at some of the theme parks to see how they have changed over the years and this was first on the list. We arrived at 1230pm and were immediately relieved of $12 to park the car. Plenty of spaces, not too many people about not too crowded and I was interested to see the Blue Man Group were performing at the park that night – I have wanted to see this act for some time, perhaps we’ll give it a go tonight.
We got to the ticket booths no queues – looking good, two adults please, $89 dollars, she said - each …. plus tax = $191 dollars – how much - you sure . . . . I remember it was a bit exxy all those years ago when we had our kids with us but mentally that hurt. I asked where the Blue Man Group were and the lady behind the bullet proof bandit screen - Alice from Wisconsin, told me it was at 8pm tonight – you wanna ticket.
Now I thought they were one of the attractions, can’t we just queue up and go in like the rides ?? – No, its in the ‘thee derr’ (Theatre), you need a ticket - $84 dollars – each – plus tax. The ‘salesman’ gene that all Americans seem to have kicked in and Alice went on to explain that when the park shuts at six you can have a nice meal at our very own Universal Studios Boardwalk and see the show at 8pm . . . what do you mean the park shuts at six – last time we were here we were here ‘till midnight - seasonal, she quipped, we open late in the summer and we shut at six today. You want tickets.
I bit my lip and muttered I wished you told me that before I gave you nearly $200 for a half day visit I would have come back tomorrow at 8 - forget the Blue Man Group - I’ll watch it on YouTube . . . Have a nice day she said as we strolled off into the park doing some mental arithmetic that told us mum, dad with just two kids in tow - with lunch and sodas will cost at least $500 a day and I don’t suppose Disney and the other parks are any cheaper. . . .am I becoming mean and grumpy in my old age.
Anyway we had five hours to do what we had done in the past in 14 hours so I told Theresa that lunch was out of the question (saving a few bucks). No real change to the layout except they had split the park in two to make Universal World of Adventure - which we paid extra to visit. Although inside the park was quite busy with loads of people about, we were quite pleasantly surprised at the lack of queues (lines over here), seasonal I thought, and at least we can get around most of the park in our five hours without killing ourselves.
Whereas in the past you could see the queues and there was a cardboard sign that tells you how long the wait is, now its gone digital and a digital display estimates the waiting time. One such sign read 40 minutes, that can’t be right there’s no-one here, so we walked into the ‘Disaster Zone’ movie set thinking we’ll get straight on do the ride and out to the next one – wrong, all the queues are now inside the buildings under cover and out of sight, the line still snakes along the insides of the building and are as long as they ever were – 40 minutes was right.
We did the Disaster Movie set, the Terminator ride, the Revenge of the Mummy ride, the Men in Black (Alien Attack) ride, the Spiderman ride, like a pair of 10 year olds – we watched the Blues Brothers gig and then came across my hero - Homer Simpson, standing for photo opportunity with Marge, Bart and Lisa, I really wanted a photo with him but decided it may not be good for Anglo/US relations if I muscled a load of kids out of the way to get to the front, besides their dads were big and had tattoos, and I was too embarrassed to join the line.
I was a bit disappointed but Theresa comforted me by buying me a Bart Simpson pencil case and took me on the Simpsons ride; another 30 minute wait in this line and whilst queuing, this 10 year old American kid advised me that he thought the ride would be way too scary for me – dunno why he picked on me, but I told him Theresa will hold my hand and I think I’ll be ok.
We got on the ride and were strapped into the capsule, it was like an out of control rollercoaster ride through Springfield (that’s where the Simpsons live) of course the capsule never moves it just bounces around but the computer generated 3D cartoon effects were amazing with the screens rolling all around you to give the ‘sensation of rapid motion and flight’ – so the book said.
We came out with a mild form of motion sickness and I thought that the kid was right, it was a bit scary and I told Theresa that I was right - aren’t you glad we never had lunch.
Don’t let anyone tell you these places are just for kids.
We declined the offer of riding The Hulk Rollercoaster, these are not really our thing and this beast ran up about 100 feet violently twisted and turned upside down threw you about and down a water slide – no thanks, the Simpsons ride made me dizzy, so we watched the terror of others from the ground and were amused to see the stuff that had been caught in the safety net – dropped by punters from above, several pairs of sunglasses, a shirt, someones jacket, and I guess about $20 dollars in small change.
6pm soon came the light was fading and we were slung out of the park, a nice touch was the row of 20 or so staff in their costumes/uniform waving to us as we left ‘Good bye, please come back and see us again soon’ - Aaahhhh !!! all so very cute . . . . . I felt like saying $200 dollars a day, f*** you no chance . . . . and we deleted Disney, Sea World and the other theme parks from our list of things to do.
Good news now is that the rare cold snap has passed and its now back to a normal high 70’s and we’re off out in the sun.
Keep watching . . . . .
Saturday, 24 January 2009
Upon arrival
More on that car. . .
We picked up the car in the dark and my initial thoughts were that it don’t look much like a jeep, the paperwork from England said its a Dodge Caliber and that’s what we got but its more like a chunky estate car, she said it looked like a jeep on the website !!. Its got these quaint little handles fixed to the inside of the doors that you have to crank to open and shut the windows – some of you may remember them, and you have to use the key to open the doors and trunk (that’s the boot to you Brits), one at a time. I guess that’s my fault for leaving the booking of the car to two women.
We got half a useless map from Dollar Rent a Car and set off to find the apartment. We were tired, we were driving on the right, it was dark and my sense of direction – if I ever had one, had all but deserted me - AND we couldn’t find the switch for the car interior light - that was a fun drive.
TIP – keep hold of some of that loose change you always have left over from your holiday – forget those charity envelopes for the third world kids you get on the plane home . . . let me tell you, a fistful of crisp new dollars and the travellers cheques you got from Marks and Spencer ain’t much good when you are driving on a toll road and get to an unmanned toll booth that says ‘exact coins only’.
The toll is only pennies but if you shoot the toll (don’t pay) the Feds get you on camera and you will be impounded at the next toll booth and fined $250 - and you’re in a one-way highway system so you can’t go back. What do you do . . . I must say I felt very smug when I tossed two quarters, a nickel and dime into the net and got a green light to go through.
We eventually made it to 3000 something West Irlo Bronson Highway Kissimmee (Nr Orlando) where we thought we were staying. It turns out that it’s an unmanned automated key pickup/drop point where we picked up a welcome pack that gave us a key and another map and told us we were actually staying 10 miles away in Davenport.
By now we had found the interior light and the new map was a bit better so we cracked on – but there’s no way I’m telling the Immigration man I erroneously gave him totally duff info.
The apartment is nice and tidy, on a new complex finished late 2008 - only 65% sold – mostly to holiday investors, and there are about 20 other families on the site so no problem parking, a nice pool but its been too bloody cold to use it and the planned clubhouse is still being used as the on site Sales Office but there’s a few bar/restaurants and a Publix supermarket nearby so we can survive. .
www.BellaPiazzaFL.com
Several of our neighbours are Snowbirds, this is an affectionate name Floridians give to geriatric (but very wealthy) Americans who live in the northern states but who migrate south to Florida to escape the harsh north American winters – hence their name Snowbirds. Most are 100 years old and drive enormous American cars and/or camper vans at 25 mph in the middle lanes. The locals like the trade they bring with them but not so keen on the disruption to the traffic on the highways and in the supermarket aisles.
These genteel old folks are tourists just like us so we live alongside them ok . . . that is until we tried to book our cruise.
Our master plan was to get a deal on a Caribbean cruise while we were here but it appears that the global economic downturn has conspired to trash our cruising plans in a very perverted way.
Worldwide interest rates have plummeted, and we are told that the Snowbirds have decided that, as they are getting crap interest on their investments here, they are cashing them in and enjoying themselves, spending their kids inheritance by taking bloody cruises out of Florida !!! Cruise prices at the end of 2008 were rock bottom due to the rescission and they were giving them away – now, 3 weeks later they have all but SOLD OUT – the Snowbirds have nicked all the deals – bastards - we may have literally missed the boat.
There is an unprecedented waiting list on some cruise lines (Princess) but we are working on another one, heaven forbid - I just don’t know what we’ll do if Mrs Waterman has to doss in an inside suite with no balcony for 10 days . . . . and an added downside is that whatever ship we get (if we get) the average age of the passengers will be 100 years old so I just know the wait for the elevators and the line for the trough will be unbearable.
We’ve got to sort something out, this apartment is only booked until 3rd February and then we’ll be sleeping in the Dodge !!!
Weather report - clear blue skies sunny cold but – they even had frost on the car windshields earlier in the week and they don’t sell de-icer in Florida !!!
Coming soon – Universal Studios .
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
Gatwick Tuesday
We spent Monday night (19th) at a hotel at Gatwick to avoid the potential for getting stuck on the M25 and missing the plane on Tuesday morning, had a good night and a Chinese and walked to the airport the next day . . . . that's where we met the Virgin Atlantic 'baggage dump' auto check in yourself help staff who enthusiastically welcomed us . . . 'Welcome to Virgin Atlantic Gatwick, thank you for flying with us and using auto check in etc etc . . . after handing over several reams of paper in lieu of paperless tickets and auto check in - 'Oh I see Mr Waterman has already checked in on line' . . . 'Oh no he ain't' - 'Oh yes he has - look - etc etc'.
Had to happen, then they checked Theresa's booking and she has NOT checked in on line. We explained that if Mr Waterman had checked in on line, Mrs Waterman his wife of 31 years and travelling companion who lives with him in the same house and uses the same computer would have done so too at the same time don't you think - Virgin Atlantic - 'No - oh dear you'd better see a supervisor' so off we trot to the check in desk like normal people have done for years.
We met a nice Asian chappie who seemed to know what he was doing and asked us if Neville was with us - who the f### is Neville, never mind, he said, they have fouled up the booking its all wrong on the computer. He was merrily click clicking away whilst we stood there worrying about excess baggage and stuff like that and after an age he announced 'All done' we piled on the bags and got away with no excess baggage grief and he handed us our boarding passes . . . job done - and off we went for a fat boys breakfast wondering who Neville is.
2 minutes later and having nearly got to the departure lounge, the Asian chap came running up to us and asked how many bags did we just check in - 4 you just took them - damn - excess baggage - I thought I'd got away with it. 'Can I see the bag tags' he asked, Yes 4 . . . . Oh, we've got 5 down to Waterman can you come back to the desk so we can sort this out - we did.
A charming elderly Virgin check in lady advised the Asian chap that he'd just deleted Neville Waterman (whoever he is) from the system and put me in his place . . . now it appears that Neville had earlier been mis-booked in my name, now they had deleted him and cancelled his boarding pass - but still had a bag in the hold with no punter attached to it.
Neville was now nowhere on the system but he was in the airport somewhere (probably having his fat boys breakfast) unaware he had been 'deleted' and holding a now very invalid boarding pass. It appears our Asian friend was the one who had now fouled up big time so off he went to see his boss with all our papers and passports and they sent someone looking for Neville.
He eventually came back with our papers and my joke that I hope Neville don't get my First Class seat or my air miles and that I hope my bags make it to Orlando and not Kowloon, fell on very deaf ears and I could see from his face that he felt it was in exceptionally poor taste. Anyway we got on board ok - dunno about Neville last we heard of him was the tannoy asking for him to return to the Virgin Desk - he's probably now in Guantanamo Bay or his bag might be unless it was subject of a controlled explosion at Gatwick . . . you couldn't make it up could you . . .
Orlando later that day . . .
I have long said that Immigration Officers are the worlds most miserable people - and we have seen many from different countries and races over the years . . . America was true to form last night. During the 11 hour flight I neatly filled in our Green Immigration Visa Waiver forms and Customs Declarations - the address we were staying at filled in every available little box and space on the form so I had to abbreviate it a bit, I put that we were staying at 3000 something West Irlo Bronson Highway, Orlando, Florida. After we had had our photo, fingerprints, iris scans and DNA swabs taken and the passports had been examined with a UV lamp and a sniffer dog - the Officer declared that West Irlo Bronson Highway was in Kissimmee not Orlando - I said I thought it's the same big place innit - bad move . . 'No, sir West Irlo Bronson Highway is in Kissimmee, you must put the correct details on the forms' he scolded . . sorry sir - I thought it best to keep my mouth shut and plead ignorance here, don't want to upset him any more . . . but I was dying to say that it's just like you coming to London and me saying no your not staying in London - you're staying in Shepherds Bush - same thing innit . . . anyway after several extra heavy thumps of his stamp all over our passports he let us go with a grunt and 'have a nice stay' - I knew he never meant it though.
The car . . .
Off we went to collect the car - and its dark outside now, Dollar Rent a Car Desk -the car is all paid for up front so its simple - walk up - show licence - collect car - go away with it, not quite . . I was offered an upgraded car, a SATNAV and 'tow truck' insurance, you'll love this, it appears if their car breaks down and they have to tow me in - I have to pay for the two truck - or of course I can take out insurance so that will pay . . . I don't think so - anyway, I said we've got this car for six weeks, how much if I said yes to all these extras . . . about $900 -no thanks . . . . and off we went into the darkness . . . and if you thought Florida was the sunshine State - its bloody freezing here . . .
More soon . . . .
Had to happen, then they checked Theresa's booking and she has NOT checked in on line. We explained that if Mr Waterman had checked in on line, Mrs Waterman his wife of 31 years and travelling companion who lives with him in the same house and uses the same computer would have done so too at the same time don't you think - Virgin Atlantic - 'No - oh dear you'd better see a supervisor' so off we trot to the check in desk like normal people have done for years.
We met a nice Asian chappie who seemed to know what he was doing and asked us if Neville was with us - who the f### is Neville, never mind, he said, they have fouled up the booking its all wrong on the computer. He was merrily click clicking away whilst we stood there worrying about excess baggage and stuff like that and after an age he announced 'All done' we piled on the bags and got away with no excess baggage grief and he handed us our boarding passes . . . job done - and off we went for a fat boys breakfast wondering who Neville is.
2 minutes later and having nearly got to the departure lounge, the Asian chap came running up to us and asked how many bags did we just check in - 4 you just took them - damn - excess baggage - I thought I'd got away with it. 'Can I see the bag tags' he asked, Yes 4 . . . . Oh, we've got 5 down to Waterman can you come back to the desk so we can sort this out - we did.
A charming elderly Virgin check in lady advised the Asian chap that he'd just deleted Neville Waterman (whoever he is) from the system and put me in his place . . . now it appears that Neville had earlier been mis-booked in my name, now they had deleted him and cancelled his boarding pass - but still had a bag in the hold with no punter attached to it.
Neville was now nowhere on the system but he was in the airport somewhere (probably having his fat boys breakfast) unaware he had been 'deleted' and holding a now very invalid boarding pass. It appears our Asian friend was the one who had now fouled up big time so off he went to see his boss with all our papers and passports and they sent someone looking for Neville.
He eventually came back with our papers and my joke that I hope Neville don't get my First Class seat or my air miles and that I hope my bags make it to Orlando and not Kowloon, fell on very deaf ears and I could see from his face that he felt it was in exceptionally poor taste. Anyway we got on board ok - dunno about Neville last we heard of him was the tannoy asking for him to return to the Virgin Desk - he's probably now in Guantanamo Bay or his bag might be unless it was subject of a controlled explosion at Gatwick . . . you couldn't make it up could you . . .
Orlando later that day . . .
I have long said that Immigration Officers are the worlds most miserable people - and we have seen many from different countries and races over the years . . . America was true to form last night. During the 11 hour flight I neatly filled in our Green Immigration Visa Waiver forms and Customs Declarations - the address we were staying at filled in every available little box and space on the form so I had to abbreviate it a bit, I put that we were staying at 3000 something West Irlo Bronson Highway, Orlando, Florida. After we had had our photo, fingerprints, iris scans and DNA swabs taken and the passports had been examined with a UV lamp and a sniffer dog - the Officer declared that West Irlo Bronson Highway was in Kissimmee not Orlando - I said I thought it's the same big place innit - bad move . . 'No, sir West Irlo Bronson Highway is in Kissimmee, you must put the correct details on the forms' he scolded . . sorry sir - I thought it best to keep my mouth shut and plead ignorance here, don't want to upset him any more . . . but I was dying to say that it's just like you coming to London and me saying no your not staying in London - you're staying in Shepherds Bush - same thing innit . . . anyway after several extra heavy thumps of his stamp all over our passports he let us go with a grunt and 'have a nice stay' - I knew he never meant it though.
The car . . .
Off we went to collect the car - and its dark outside now, Dollar Rent a Car Desk -the car is all paid for up front so its simple - walk up - show licence - collect car - go away with it, not quite . . I was offered an upgraded car, a SATNAV and 'tow truck' insurance, you'll love this, it appears if their car breaks down and they have to tow me in - I have to pay for the two truck - or of course I can take out insurance so that will pay . . . I don't think so - anyway, I said we've got this car for six weeks, how much if I said yes to all these extras . . . about $900 -no thanks . . . . and off we went into the darkness . . . and if you thought Florida was the sunshine State - its bloody freezing here . . .
More soon . . . .
Tuesday, 13 January 2009
The Plan
First time we have stepped into this new territory of cyberspace and the Internet blogs so here goes . . .
Theresa retired from the bank at the end of 2008 and I am temporarily retiring again - I gave the cab up on 16th January 2009.
Desperate for some sun, Theresa spent the last few months planning this six week jolly to the USA.
We have booked two weeks in Orlando Florida in a rather nice self catering apartment with a Jeep, just chilling out and perhaps visiting a few old friends and places we went to years ago with the children, and in slow time looking for a last minute deal on a Caribbean Cruise; evidently you can ring up on Friday and book a cabin on a ship going out Saturday and just turn up and go - they give them away $$ . . . you can do it if you are there in town, not so easy to do it from the UK, as you need to book flights and all that stuff . . . we'll see . . . .
When we come back from the cruise we have three weeks to do as we please and are thinking of driving down to the Florida Keys but thats an open diary at the moment we'll see how the mood takes us.
Theresa retired from the bank at the end of 2008 and I am temporarily retiring again - I gave the cab up on 16th January 2009.
Desperate for some sun, Theresa spent the last few months planning this six week jolly to the USA.
We have booked two weeks in Orlando Florida in a rather nice self catering apartment with a Jeep, just chilling out and perhaps visiting a few old friends and places we went to years ago with the children, and in slow time looking for a last minute deal on a Caribbean Cruise; evidently you can ring up on Friday and book a cabin on a ship going out Saturday and just turn up and go - they give them away $$ . . . you can do it if you are there in town, not so easy to do it from the UK, as you need to book flights and all that stuff . . . we'll see . . . .
When we come back from the cruise we have three weeks to do as we please and are thinking of driving down to the Florida Keys but thats an open diary at the moment we'll see how the mood takes us.
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