Miami - Key West

Got off the ship on Sunday morning and drove to Key West, I must say its not the sort of drive I’d like to do after having just got off a plane after 11 hours with two kids in tow. It was a bit slow mostly a single track highway with the occasional passing point and everyone in America seemed to be travelling to the Keys for the Bank Holiday Weekend (Presidents Day Monday 16th – more bad planning).

The driving instructions from Miami to Kew West were quite simple even though its 162miles, turn left at the dock gates take Highway One South for 161 miles over 42 bridges, take a right and two lefts and you’re there – right at the hotel.

Got stuck behind a few enormous camper homes that made our NZ and Oz vans look like mini vans; the Americans tend to tow the family car behind the bigger campers with a rigid tow bar so they can park up in the trailer park and use the family car to drive about town while on vacation – good idea, and you know the camper up front is a real big one when you see its towing a Hummer !!

The hotel is not allowed to be called a hotel it’s a guesthouse, Merlin Guesthouse 811 Simonton Street Key West - one of the Historic Key West Inns . . . . very quaint/colonial and rustic (1890) made of wood, with a tin roof, restored wooden floors, four poster bed, no wardrobes (3 hooks in the wall), vaulted ceilings and with a porch that you can sit on and watch the world go by.

The planning regulations are very strict on what you can and can’t do and the guesthouse has to be restored/maintained in keeping with the historic town surroundings. Our room has electrical sockets nine feet off the ground alongside the exposed ceiling joists – dunno how the planners worked that out, it’s a bit of a nuisance charging my phone when its hanging from the rafters.

All the American drunks from the ship seem to have followed us to Key West, this is real party town with loads of bars and restaurants, it pays to stick your head through the door of the bar before you commit to going in, they’ve got all sorts here, sometimes the rainbow flag outside is a clue, others try to catch you out, we’ve been approached by several transvestites, eccentric cross dressers and trans-genders inviting us in to see their show (I think that’s what they meant anyway), anything goes in this place and makes Old Compton Street on Friday/Saturday night look like Disneyland.

Loads of rock and roll pubs here heaving with legless punters overflowing onto the street with names like the Hogs Breath Saloon, Buffalo Bills Honky Tonk Saloon and Sloppy Joes Bar, I like a bit of loud music but neither these nor the tranny bars are the sort of place we’d choose for a drink after a nice grilled Mahi Mahi and a bottle of Chablis for dinner - takes all sorts, they say and its all in good fun.

The vast majority of people here either makes a living from alcohol or T shirt manufacturing, there is one with every slogan you can think of and a few I can relate to ‘Rehab is for quitters’ – ‘I dunno why I woke up so thirsty this morning, I had loads to drink last night’, - ‘A good lawyer knows the law – a great Lawyer knows the Judge; - if they don’t have what you want they’ll make it for you any text, any colour, any size and any insult - no holds barred, President Obama and George Bush have their fair share of dedications, I won’t mention them here, I might get banged up for treason – God Bless America.

Discovered a new cocktail on the ship called a Cosmopolitan (aka Cosmo) – large slug of Vodka, a smidgeon of Cointreau, a smidgeon of unsweetened lime juice and top with Cranberry juice, shake through crushed ice and pour with a twist of lemon peel –try it – fantastic . . . . reminds me of my favourite T shirt slogan ‘What’s the point of drinking if it don’t make ya’ feel different’.

Weather hot (late 70’s) and sunny - moving back up north to Miami for a few days Wednesday morning and then perhaps to Fort Lauderdale - that bit is yet to be decided.

Keep watching . . . .